April 21, 2009

What is it about visiting familiar places that brings out all the emotions in me? I took my girls to see my mother today. Well, no, that isn't exactly right. I took my niece to spend the night with my mom because my niece is with me for the week and my mom wanted to see her on her days off from work. As an afterthought my mother asked me to bring my girls along for a visit, too.

That place is so haunted with memories - some are good, but most are not. I sat there on the steps watching my mother play with my kids and couldn't help but cry a bit. I found myself seeing what my life might have been like if my mother had made better choices when I was a child. I wonder sometimes if she even realizes what she gave up by turning away from her children.

Now I'm feeling a deep sadness that I can't quite explain or alleviate. "Should've beens" don't really have a place in reality, though, do they?


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Everything happened the way it should be. We should never cry over spilled milks. Everything happened for their own purpose. We must learn the lessons our mistakes or the mistakes of others teach us and move along with our lives wiser and more attuned to the ultimate purpose of God in our lives. Thanks for the post. God bless you always.