August 12, 2009


Sadness. Darkness. Overwhelming. Bearing down. Crashing in. Smothering. Heavy. Pain. Weeping. Irrational. Fear. Panic. Worry. Lonely. Distant. Solitude. Failure. Despair.

These are the feelings and thoughts that I battle frequently.

The pills help - Lord knows they really, really help - but some days the sickness gets the best of me. Some days, when the world seems to be against me, the tears come no matter how hard I fight. Even with all the wonderful blessings I have, there are days when everything is dark and heavy and - yes - irrational.

Here, in the dark, when everyone is asleep, I can cry freely without concern for giving explanations that there really is no reason for the tears. There are few who would understand.


Angel said...

I understand:) Tears are water for the soul.

My Caddy SG said...

Do you always need to take the pills? Some TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) can help if you're interested.

Becki said...

Been there, done that :(

Hope you can find your way out again soon!

Trish said...

I've popped over here twice from Entrecard and just wanted to say that I also suffer from depression and can relate that medication doesn't fix everything. I definitely have those days.

I have found that getting back into therapy is helping as well. I had stopped when I was feeling better for a while, but now I think it is good to maintain that connection with someone objective and knowledgeable, even if I only go every few weeks when I am doing well.

My prayers are with you.