January 12, 2009


I just returned from a week long vacation with the kids, leaving the husband behind to work. We both agreed that we could certainly use a break from each other. Having time apart is important to help us remember why we still love each other and still feel our marriage is worth our time and energy.

While I was away, the very handsome room steward on our cruise ship made it pretty clear that he was interested in me. Me? Mom to many? Post pregnant, non-teen body? Me?

I, of course, assumed that he was only flirting for the possibility of increasing his tip. I'm a flirtatious person so I played along. It wasn't until the third day or so that I began to realize that his flirtations were sincere and not as playful as I had first assumed. Hmm. He was serious. Imagine that. (Did I mention the post pregnant body?)

Well, being human, I began to consider the possibilities. It feels good to know that somebody other than my husband has an interest in me. After all, my husband is kind of obligated to be attracted to me, now isn't he? So my mind began to wander down the lanes of fantasy that one might imagine a single woman would wander. This guy - who was attractive and kind - was interested in me. Where could that lead? What if I were not married? What if I were not the type to be completely faithful? (I am, by the way, the type to be completely faithful.) What if...

It was an amusing trip down that lane of fantasy. All the allure of meeting a mysterious man from a far away land and falling madly in love (or lust...). But the realities are never quite like fantasies, now are they?

As I was returning home from my trip, I spent a great deal of time talking with my mom to pass the drive. We talked about how my husband and I have been together for 11 years this month. We talked about how that time just doesn't seem possible. The span of time we've been together does not feel like 11 years. It doesn't even feel like 1 year. Of course I have constant reminders of how long we've been together because our children keep growing and aging.

It occurred to me that the relationships that last are those that really don't feel their age. If it felt like 11 years, then it would be more oppressive to have this relationship. If we were not having a great time on our journey together then our years together would be less pleasant. We would be less likely to stick together through the hard times if our time together seemed too long.

I'm glad to know that I have this wonderful relationship that does not show and feel its age. Fantasizing about other possibilities might be fun for a day or two, but I much prefer my current reality.


Zeemaid said...

Very Insightful posts! You really hit the nail on the head with the marriage thing. We'll be married 10 years and it hardly seems possible that time could have flown so quick.