Aloneness

I'm feeling very sad and alone right now. Usually I'm okay being alone. Usually I desire a few moments to be alone. Right now though, I am unhappy with my aloneness. My family is out of the country for a wedding that I was unable to attend due to the expense. My husband, his mother, and his stepmother have all gone to attend his brother's wedding. They left on Monday and will return on Sunday. I've handled this all pretty well until today. Today I am sad. I miss my family. I miss my husband. I often take for granted just how much I depend on his presence to keep me calm and sane. I sometimes forget that he is my anchor in a crazed world that demands far too much of me. Right now I just want him to be here with me so I won't have to be so alone.

I'm not real sure why the sadness has hit me so hard today. Perhaps it is because I am so tired from the demands from the girls. Usually there is somebody here to lean on when I feel overwhelmed by their neediness. When my husband is working, his mother and stepmother are always nearby to lend a hand. I don't usually spend so many consecutive days with both the girls. They typically have dates with one Grandma or the other, leaving me with a bit of time to recharge. Right now my emotional and physical stores are completely depleted.

I look forward to Sunday evening when they all come back home to me. I know the girls will be pleased, too.